In The Meadow
Standing in the large meadow looking at the sun's direction cresting above a wave of hills, a shadowy slope to one side - not yet kissed by the sun's light. I gaze in reverence of all that is before me - a vast array of flowers springing through blades of tall grass, hills wooded with tree tops whose colors turn ever so slightly from deep forest green to yellow and orange tinge - hinting of autumn's return. Crickets leap in response to my gentle yet steady steps - perhaps disturbing their morning prayers sung to the day's light in soft quick-witted chirps. I cant help but feel as vast and as open and limitless as the sky even as I experience my 5'2" frame to be minute and small in this vast network of connections on the planet - animal, mineral, vegetable (things we call "kingdoms" as if there truly is a patriarchy/hierarchy to these connections rather than symbiotic relationships. But I digress…). I stand here vulnerable to morning's gaze, a scent of ceremony still in the air lingering from the last night's convening at the fire pit, smoldering embers now suggesting that perhaps the conversation should continue...saging me with its smoky scent. I cant help but feel that within my perception of feeling small yet great, there is gratitude. Gratitude for the birds, the sun, the trees, the water, the fire, the crickets, their song, our songs...I also cant help but see all there is before me and think of what my impact is and how it's perceived/received, like the crickets jumping at my path...what footprint do I leave? What is my impact? To my children, to my connection in this world? How do we collectively impact this world of possibilities and remain/sustain our connection to the mother/father - queendom/kingdoms of - animal, mineral, vegetable, etc and elements of earth, fire, air, water? How do we protect what is sacred and sustaining to life itself? Protect one another, protect the earth, protect ourselves from ourselves? My mind starts to swell with these ideas of sovereignty and protection and where my impact in all of this lies. I realize that my mind has spiraled into "defensive mode" with these thoughts, and that this may possibly be part of the problem or at least not as productive as my question of impact itself. Sometimes the question is most important. The answer comes in its time. Then, I remember the mosquito....oh those darned mosquitoes...my thighs and calves show the evidence of a war torn territory. Bloodshed. A literal drone attack unbeknownst to me, in the quiet night, where my cells rage in the itch for relief...Yes, I think about the mosquito and how small this tiny half an inch frame has impacted the vast terrain of my body...the cosmos of my being...disturbed and awakened.
How can we be impactful to this planet like the mosquito? Not just to disturb the status quo, but to awaken ourselves to who we are in this world and our true connection? Because honestly, in this moment...
standing on this land, I feel humbled, grateful, powerful and awakened. Big and small. I feel human.
* I want to be funny and make Yoda-like mantra for myself saying something like "go forth and be Human. Goussy, be like a mosquito" (even though that would probably have been said backwards by Yoda), but honestly, my current takeaway is that this is to be continued....
